Can't... stop... laughing...

My favorite line... "So, do you think that being able to read and write your native language makes you qualified to write a novel?" (Sue Williams and I were talking about exactly this over the weekend. Yes. Yes, some people really think that.)

When do you stop looking?

Photo found here: Indizi dell'avvenuta catastrofe

In yesterday's post I updated you on my query status: WAITING. In the comments, Rebecca pushed me (lovingly) to keep sending queries while I wait, reminding me that one's dream agent is not always found in the expected place.

So here is my question to you: when do you stop looking?

I have sent my query to 90 agents. I had a damn good hit rate, getting partial or full requests from 15 of those agents, as well as getting some really great personal rejections. I'm still not totally certain whether my book is "chick lit" or "women's lit", so when I started the process I looked for agents open to either of those categories when doing my AgentQuery research. (Actually, I might fit best into that new New Adult category, but that's not a searchable industry term yet.) I re-ran those searches a number of times, to make sure I'd captured everyone open to new clients in those genres. That was in April-May-June of 2009, and I sent out about 75 queries.

Then in September-October-November of 2009 I sent out a handful more. In some cases this was because an agent finally lifted her moratorium on queries, in others it was because a particular agent finally rejected me, thus allowing me to apply to a different, seemingly-a-good-fit agent at the same agency. I also came up with another genre to search for: Gay & Lesbian lit, because two of the main character's three best friends are lesbians. That brought me up to my current total of 90 queries.

So, I ask you: what have I missed? I think I've found all the agents who play in my field. You never know which agent will be the one who really "gets" your novel, but I'm not going to send my stuff to agents and say, "hey, I know you don't say you represent books like mine, and I don't see any books like mine on your list, but I thought I'd throw this your way anyhow."

So, I wait. I hope that one of the remaining four agents is The One. I guess I can take another gander at the AgentQuery listings, but at some point one does run out of reputable agents in a given category. I think if this last group doesn't pan out, then all I can do is take comfort in the fact that some rejections included an expression of interest in whatever my next project might be. It's nice to have a ready-made short-list for novel #2.

WHEN IS IT TIME TO GIVE UP? Querying writers, how are you choosing which agents to try for? What will you do when that list is tapped out? Agented writers, what would you have done if the answers had all been "no"?

Nnnng... ungh... gahhahng... BRAINS!

(Finnish road sign -- needs no translation)

Are you prepared? The scientists are taking this very seriously, y'all. Don't believe me? Go read the mathematical modelling of of an outbreak of zombie infection.

Oh, what? I can't write about writing every day, can I?

Fine, here's a writing update... I called the "caller ID agent" back. Short version: another rejection. Long version: I had called the agency on Monday to check on the status of my queries, we chatted briefly, and I resent the query again. She then called back because she wasn't sure if her reply to my most recent query had gone through (it hadn't). Apparently my first two queries -- sent 16 and 8 weeks ago, respectively -- never arrived, but the query I sent on Monday to her personal email instead of the general submissions email got there fine. But then her reply never made it back. Ah, better living through technology! (Apparently my ninja manuscript has been giving stealth lessons to my query letters, and is now messing with my email settings. ARGH!)

She said that she probably would have asked to see pages if my book was longer -- my word count is indeed below the generally-accepted "sweet spot" of 80K-100K -- or if the story had grabbed her just a little bit more. She said I should "absolutely, please do" submit to her again in the future, so I'm going to put this rejection in the "personal/positive rejection" category, because agents do not encourage more queries unless they like something about what you've written. (Sure, sometimes a form letter will say "keep writing and submitting," but that can mean "you need more practice, and you should submit to someone else.")

Oh, and if all the remaining agents say no to me, maybe I'll add 20K words and ask if she'd be interested in seeing a revised and updated version. And I'll fax it.

In the meantime, be vigilant.


(Happy Friday, everyone!)

The State of the Query

Okay, today I'm going to give you all the specifics on my querying status. Some of you might be interested because you like me and want to know the details of how I'm doing out there in agent-land, and some of you might be interested because knowing someone else's statistics make the querying process seem just a little bit more accessible and less mysterious. I know I was very hungry for numbers when I first started sending these letters out the door...

Plus, I got a call yesterday that is driving me crazy, and this summary will help me regroup. Yes, you'll have to read all the way to the end to find out about the call.

Between April 15, 2009 and June 24, 2009, I sent out a total of 76 queries. One agent wrote back saying that she wasn't taking new clients after all, and therefore did not review or consider my query, so let's take that number down to 75 valid queries.

Of those 75 queries, I've had 29 form rejections (38%).

I've also had 2 rejections based on genre... they don't think they can sell chick lit right now (3%).

I've also had 17 "no responses" that must be assumed to be rejections, because the agents have a "no response means no" policy, and it's been long enough by now (22%).

Also in the "no response" category are 11 outstanding queries where I do still, eventually, expect an answer of some sort, even though in some cases it's been as long as 18 weeks (15%).

Now, onto the good news. Those of you who have done your homework know that there is more than one kind of rejection. There's the form rejection, and there's the "personal rejection": this does not mean that they reject your manuscript and also say that you have a big nose, it means that the agents have taken some precious time out of their already packed days to say something positive about your manuscript. It's a rejection, but it also means that you're doing something right. At the very least, it means that your query letter doesn't suck, because the agent went on to read some of your pages. (See my "thanks for the rejection" post for more thoughts on this.)

I have received 6 personal rejections (8%).

I have also gotten 10 requests for additional materials, either a partial or full manuscript (14%).

Of those 10 requests, 5 have since been rejected (but usually in a very nice way). That means that out of 75 original queries, I am now hanging my hopes on 5 agents who have asked to see more (7%).

I guess there's also hope to be had in that 15% that hasn't gotten back to me at all yet, but naturally I tend to think I have better odds with an agent who read three chapters, then asked to see the whole thing, rather than with an agent who only has the one-page query letter on her desk.

And what about that phone call? Yesterday, according to my home telephone's caller I.D., I got a call from an agent. S/he did not leave a message. S/he did not call back, or email.

GAHHHH! What does that mean?

I'm going to give it until the end of the week, then do a polite status check-in with that agency. In the meantime, I'll be pretending to focus on a million other things, but failing.

Weekly round-up, including some perks of mid-level fame.

Once again, I want to give a huge THANK YOU to those of you who posted comments in the last couple of days. I have been hoping to find some fellow "smart chick lit" authors online... it's so easy to find the internet-based Sci Fi and Fantasy writing communities (which makes sense), but not so easy to find the women's fiction/chick lit communities. Women's fiction is too broad, and for a while it seemed like all the chick lit sites had stopped posting updates somewhere between 2006 and 2008, but as of this week I'm starting to see a resurgence! Chick Lit Books just started up again, and I'm starting to hunt down some of the 50 Best Chick Lit Blogs -- the list was originally posted in late '08, so some pages are defunct, but I think it's still worth checking out. If we don't support each other, who will?

So, while I hope this blog gathers (and speaks to!) people from all sources and genres, I do want to give a special shout-out to the Chick Literati.

What else? This week I went to one of my local indie bookstores, and scored an ARC (advance release copy) of James Ellroy's Blood's a Rover. The back cover is a letter from Ellroy to booksellers, using the phrase "groin-grabbing gravity." I love it already.

I also attended a book reading/signing for J. Courtney Sullivan's debut novel, Commencement. She said she thinks her book got accepted before the genre wars really started, and seemed to feel that her novel could be classified as chick lit or women's fiction... A story of four best friends, described as a great summer read? Chick lit! A story of how the lessons of feminism may be difficult to apply in real life, with a blurb from Gloria Steinem? Women's fiction! Either way, I thought the author was lovely, and I can't wait to read her novel.

Still no word from the literary agents. I am physically restraining myself from calling to "check in." Whenever I am near a computer, I compulsively click "refresh" on my email, hoping there will be some update. I am hanging in.

And, finally, there's the recent discovery I alluded to in the title of this post... the "perks of mid-level fame." For those of you who don't already know me, I used to act. I'm on IMDB. I'm well within the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Briefly, there were perks: the Baskin' Robbins next door to my house used to give me free ice cream because I was a "star" ('cause, you know, the stars are the ones who really need a free cone of Pralines n' Cream). And occasionally I'd find something cool on the internet, like the automated Birthday Countdown that said how many days were left until my next birthday -- I printed it out every year to stick on my office door: "There are 0 days left until Carrie Kei Heim turns [insert age here]."

But this week I discovered that, due to being a "celebrity," I am getting free numerology readings. Now that's something to write home about. Should I go email them the place and time of my birth? I think I kinda like my results, and I wouldn't want to suddenly find out that being born in Tokyo screws the whole thing up...

Have a great weekend, everyone, and I hope your weather is better than ours is right now.

Sometimes stealth is not the quality I am looking for.

I have a ninja manuscript. As of Friday, four out of the ten agents who asked me to send more pages -- either a partial or a full -- have now admitted to misplacing those materials, at least temporarily. But I don't blame the agents. I blame the book.

Apparently, my novel has become quite skilled in the art of being unperceived over the last several weeks. I imagine it first developed a plan of attack after three quick captures and rejections by partial-requesting agents early in the process... perhaps hoping to avoid further rejection, it then switched to active stealth mode. Of the remaining seven agents, two failed to realize the manuscript was on the premises, but were able to find it when prompted. One thought she had the manuscript, but was subsequently unable to open the document. Most recently, an agent was unable to find a single trace of the document, even with extensive searching, and another copy had to be sent. Two more remain unaccounted for (the agents haven't gotten back to me yet) and only one appears to have arrived without incident... perhaps it was thrown off its game by the fact that I printed that one in hard copy and mailed it.

This is not ideal. I do kind of like it when the (universally apologetic) agents and agency assistants promise to move my now-captured novel to the top of the pile, but since I didn't check in with these agencies until after the review time guidelines had passed, this is all taking place 8-10 weeks after the manuscripts were first sent in. Industry etiquette only aids the ninja novel in its campaign of stealth and illusion.

Writers, your only defense against the ninja novel's expert sabotage techniques is good record-keeping and a willingness to follow up. Without my Excel spreadsheet, I would not know when the manuscripts were sent, or when it would be appropriate to check in, and my manuscripts would be forever hiding in plain sight like Keyser Soze.



And like that... it's gone.

I need more zombies.

First rejection of a full manuscript yesterday. The good news/bad news: "it's not your writing, it's the genre." Chick lit is a tough sell these days, apparently -- a number of other agents to whom I've submitted said the same thing -- and this agent just doesn't think she can sell what I've written, although she had briefly hoped that she could repackage it as women's fiction (which is selling quite nicely). She said some nice things, and we agreed that I would get back in touch once I wrote something with a strong zombie heroine. Now THAT would sell.

Thanks for the rejection! No, really!

Somewhere in there is the perfect manuscript.
For another agent.

I love rejection. I am not being sarcastic; personalized rejection letters from literary agents can provide you with fresh reader reactions, editing suggestions, and even emotional support. After all, why would an agent waste his or her valuable time writing even a single extra word about a project that had no merit? A form rejection can mean anything from "your writing sucks" to "I love it but don't know how to sell it"... but a personalized rejection means there was something of interest in your query.

Here are some lovely things literary agents have said about the first 30-50 pages of my novel: some received the first 3 chapters of the novel as part of the original query package, and some requested a "partial" before deciding to pass, but all of them had a reasonably substantial chunk of my writing to consider. Some also had a copy of the synopsis, so they could see where the story would eventually lead.

I have combined nine agent comments into a single "response" – the connecting words may be mine, but all substantive comments and flattery are direct quotes.

Dear Carrie,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your materials. You have a great imagination - I love the premise - and you're a good writer, but I'm sad to say that I just wasn't passionate enough about this to ask to see more. I wish I could offer constructive suggestions, but I thought that the story and writing are snappy and easy to get into, you have a good sense of pace about your writing and a strong wit demonstrated through dialogue, the characters are well-crafted, and the plot is intriguing and well-conceived.

I think it's the kind of thing that really is subjective - why some people adore the book on the top of the NYTimes bestseller list, and others don't. This isn’t right for us, but no doubt another agent will feel differently.

SO sorry, and best of luck in your writing career.

So, what’s bad about that?

Enter the Slush

You spent two years writing the novel, three months rewriting the opening chapters, and four seconds reading the submission guidelines.

QUERY: letter sent to literary agents to submit a manuscript

SLUSH: unsolicited submissions (i.e. queries)

I sent out my first query letter 10 weeks ago today; the first of 76 queries in total. I am writing this post today because I have to do something besides constantly hitting "refresh" on my email, hoping that another agent will ask to see a partial, or a full, or better yet, that this will be the day an agent actually asks to represent me.

There are many, many writers out there trying to break into publishing through the vast slush pile, and we all spend hours ...days, weeks, months... trying to figure out What Agents Want. For those of you just starting out, here is some statistical insight into one facet of the query process: What Do Literary Agents Want to Receive In Their Slush?

Many people (and Wikipedia) define "slush" as the unsolicited manuscripts received by literary agents and publishing houses, but if you do your research, you will quickly learn that no literary agent wants to get a full, unsolicited manuscript. Not one. What they want is a query letter describing your project and telling a little bit about yourself, and maybe saying why you chose to submit to that agency in particular. Agents who blog are usually very good about providing detailed posts on how to write a high-quality query letter, so I won't repeat their expert advice, I will simply refer you to the blog roll on the right over there (you may need to scroll) =>

...but I will provide the statistics I've encountered for what agents who represent my genre are looking for in addition to the query letter, if anything. Here we go.

LITERARY AGENT SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:

Query letter only: 37 (50%)

Query plus 1-5 pages: 18 (24%)

Query plus first chapter/10-20pgs: 16 (21%)

Query plus first 3 chapters/30-50pgs: 4 (5%)

TOTAL: 76 queries

That's right, fully half of all literary agents make their initial decision based on your query letter alone, without seeing a single word of your book. Better go check out those agent blog FAQs, huh?

Here are some other numbers:

Agents requesting mailed hard copy materials, with SASE: 12 (16%)

So, that's good news for those who are trying to save money on printing and postage costs (indeed, many agents now only accept e-queries, so don't go mailing anything out without double-checking).

Agents requesting a synopsis: 14 (18%)

Writing a synopsis is really, really hard, so I was grateful that it's not a requirement at most agencies, and I sent out queries for two weeks before I managed to write a synopsis I was proud of. I recommend writing some sort of synopsis before you start querying, however, because it's an excellent way to see if there are any real problems with your storyline. Can't write the synopsis for Act Three of your novel because nothing really "happens" in those chapters? Yeah, that's more than a synopsis problem, that's a manuscript problem. You're going to want to do some rewriting first.

Next post: more news from the querying frontlines