Close Enough

As of last night, I'm approximately 3,800 words into a new short story, and I still have handwritten materials to transcribe. (If my daughter hadn't decided to wake up at 12:20am and stay awake until after 3am, I think I would have gotten it all typed up, but that's another story.)

This is very exciting to me -- I tend to underwrite rather than overwrite, so it feels absolutely wonderful to have something this substantial that is not merely the first 5% or so of a novel. (Plus, if it stays under 8K, I can submit it to One Story.)

Despite this excitement, however, last night I started to feel a little run down. A little weary of the piece, even though so much of it is fresh and interesting to me. A little... lazy.

I've been typing for ages, my brain insists, surely we must be done with this one by now.

In many areas of my life, I've noticed that I have a "close enough" problem. I'll clean up 95% of the dirty dishes, and then leave out a single water glass or leave a single pot to wash the next day. I'll do laundry, then fail to put the clean, folded, ironed clothes in the closets. I'll tidy up the vast majority of the house, then leave a single messy pile of unsorted mail and receipts on the front hallway table. Why? Because I've worked so hard already. And anyway, shouldn't someone else take it from here?

Worse, sometimes I don't even realize I've done it. What are you talking about, honey? I cleaned the whole house, top to bottom! Oh. That mess over there. Huh. Yeah, I didn't really see that bit. Oops.

Fortunately, I love to edit, so I always (eventually!) catch it in my writing if I quit working too soon... plus I'm not deluded enough to think that an agent or editor really will pick up my slack if I were to submit an unpolished piece of writing. And also fortunately, I've had some beta readers who are willing to read a 95% complete piece if I just need to get it the heck off my desk for a while before I can tackle the last finishing touches. They get it. Sometimes you have to just type [INSERT CONNECTING SCENES HERE] and let it go for a while.

But I'm glad that I correctly identified the problem last night; I wasn't tired, I was just in a close-enough state of mind. So I powered through (at least, until Serious Girl made it clear that going back to sleep was not happening any time soon). And I think I got some good outlining done as a result.

DOES THIS EVER HAPPEN TO YOU? Do you catch the problem every time? Do you just accept the urge and walk away for a while, or do you keep pushing at it?

My first publication. It's online.

Boston Literary Magazine Spring 2010:

Writing that's good for you and your tummy

As of yesterday, you will find my drabble (fiction of precisely 100 words), Walking on Eggshells, in the latest issue of Boston Literary Magazine. You'll find it, of course, in The Drabble.

Kudos also to blog reader and friend Lisa M. Palin who also has a drabble published in this issue, although for some reason it is currently posted with the Quick Fiction. (I'm sure they'll sort it out soon enough.)

Go. Read. Enjoy.

Monsters and Mayhem, Parts 5 & 6

Photo from National Geographic. No, really.

So we finally come to the end. Sorry it took me so long to write about the last classes in this series. To refresh your memory, I took a 6-week course called Monsters and Mayhem at Grub Street, taught most evenings by Sue Williams and KL Pereira. Week Six was really just a workshopping class, where we read excerpts of the works we had been writing in connection with the course, and gave each other feedback. (To my classmates: you guys are fabulous. Really.)

Week Five was taught solely by KL, and was about how context creates plot. (See also character is plot and plot is conflict.)

KL argued that, by placing one's characters in different environments, we can create conflict, expose desires, and thereby tap into plot. After all, if you understand your character, you will know how they will react to any situation or context. What would happen if you took your character and put her somewhere unexpectedly modern? Or historical? Or alien/foreign? Someplace more lonely or more populated?

She asked us to write a number of exercises, but I was most moved by these three:

1. Take a character you are working on and place them in a context in which one of their beliefs about themselves is irrevocably shaken or even shattered. How does your character react?
2. Imagine that your character suddenly loses the ability to speak due to something the encounter in their environment. What would happen? How would your character communicate? Write the piece without dialogue.
3. Take a character you've been working with an write a scene in which their surroundings make them feel with very young or very old.

What do you think? What are the environments you typically write? What would happen to your characters if you changed it up?

Getting caught up

Okay, I've not been terribly exciting or substantive lately. It's that pesky LIFE thing getting in the way of my blogging. I'm just going to take it bird by bird until it's all under control again...

So what's new with me that might be of interest to you?

I didn't win The Rejectionist's heavy-metal-form-rejection contest, but I'm sure that was just because she didn't want to be accused of nepotism, what with us being engaged and all. If you're into that sort of thing, the contest entries are in the comments here, and mine in particular is here.

Speaking of rock'n'roll, in one week I will be taking a Grub Street class called "Crank the Tunes, Crank the Prose: Music as the Path to Literary Improvement" with instructor Steve Almond. Tonight I'm taking "All The Right (Opening) Moves" with Jasmine Beach-Ferrara (we'll be analyzing the first 2 pages of a number of short stories), and next month I will be taking Sue Williams' class "Go Deeper, Baby: Writing Meaningful Erotica."

Yes, that's right, I said erotica. Get over it. I think more people should do the right kind of research in order to write hot scenes that are actually, you know, HOT. (Oh, go ahead and click, it's totally work safe and very funny.) After all, you don't want to end up on the Literary Review's short list for Bad Sex in Fiction, do you?

As always, I will be bringing some of my classroom learnin' to you the next day -- and yes, yes, I know I still owe you a final blog post from the Monster & Mayhem series. TOMORROW. Promise.

Okay, that's all I've got. As a final link, I think people should go read this post: In Defense of Hush, Hush. Personally, I haven't read this novel, but I am a little exhausted by all the recent stories -- especially YA -- that have a girl falling for the "bad boy" -- especially when bad means putting the girl at risk for actual physical harm -- so I can see myself reading a review of this book, or one like it, and then making the choice not to bother reading it myself... but if someone else reads a bad review of a novel and then chooses to make that book unavailable for others, well, that just ain't right.

Thoughts? I hate to call out one author/book in particular, but I'd like to know what others think of the trend of books where the female protag falls for a dangerous guy.

Can't blog. Writing.

You guys are fabulous, thank you SO much for the boost yesterday!

So, today is insane. We had a toddler playdate this morning, I'm going to the Grub Gone... Blue event tonight, and I just found a bunch of documents on backup discs (3.5" floppies, remember those?) that I had thought were lost forever, and I'm writing, and we're late taking Serious Girl to school, and... ACK!

Back on Monday. In the meantime, please enjoy this photo of the pet chinchilla I had in college. Her name was Kenga. Who else has had a weird pet? "Normal" pets with weird personalities TOTALLY count.

Looking for a little pick-me-up today

Okay, sometimes my sunny demeanor fails me. I'm feeling a bit low today. SO! Here are some quick things to make us all happy!

1. Did you all know I won Natalie Whipple's Dark & Stormy Writing Contest? They say to never start a story with the weather. Natalie asked us to do exactly that, and make it gooood. Check out the top entries (there's an honorable mention entry written by a 12-year-old that will surely delight everyone) and have a nice think about what the weather is doing in your own stories.
2. Everyone needs to go read David Eagleman's Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives. Immediately. I am not fooling around here. NOW, PEOPLE! It's f---ing amazing.
3. Our finches are all taking a bath in their water dish. Looks a lot like this (fun starts about 25 seconds in).

Okay, everyone. Bring some happy to the comments, links to internet silliness are welcome.

Oh, and this is for Sean: my feet, on honeymoon in Tonga. (Sorry, inside joke. Everyone go write 200 words about finding a photo of feet. Or say "finding a photo of feet" ten times very fast.)

When do you stop looking?

Photo found here: Indizi dell'avvenuta catastrofe

In yesterday's post I updated you on my query status: WAITING. In the comments, Rebecca pushed me (lovingly) to keep sending queries while I wait, reminding me that one's dream agent is not always found in the expected place.

So here is my question to you: when do you stop looking?

I have sent my query to 90 agents. I had a damn good hit rate, getting partial or full requests from 15 of those agents, as well as getting some really great personal rejections. I'm still not totally certain whether my book is "chick lit" or "women's lit", so when I started the process I looked for agents open to either of those categories when doing my AgentQuery research. (Actually, I might fit best into that new New Adult category, but that's not a searchable industry term yet.) I re-ran those searches a number of times, to make sure I'd captured everyone open to new clients in those genres. That was in April-May-June of 2009, and I sent out about 75 queries.

Then in September-October-November of 2009 I sent out a handful more. In some cases this was because an agent finally lifted her moratorium on queries, in others it was because a particular agent finally rejected me, thus allowing me to apply to a different, seemingly-a-good-fit agent at the same agency. I also came up with another genre to search for: Gay & Lesbian lit, because two of the main character's three best friends are lesbians. That brought me up to my current total of 90 queries.

So, I ask you: what have I missed? I think I've found all the agents who play in my field. You never know which agent will be the one who really "gets" your novel, but I'm not going to send my stuff to agents and say, "hey, I know you don't say you represent books like mine, and I don't see any books like mine on your list, but I thought I'd throw this your way anyhow."

So, I wait. I hope that one of the remaining four agents is The One. I guess I can take another gander at the AgentQuery listings, but at some point one does run out of reputable agents in a given category. I think if this last group doesn't pan out, then all I can do is take comfort in the fact that some rejections included an expression of interest in whatever my next project might be. It's nice to have a ready-made short-list for novel #2.

WHEN IS IT TIME TO GIVE UP? Querying writers, how are you choosing which agents to try for? What will you do when that list is tapped out? Agented writers, what would you have done if the answers had all been "no"?

Annotating? Or defacing?

Click comics for full size versions at InkyGirl

I just saw Betsy Lerner's post on David Foster Wallace's papers, which includes the handwritten notes in his books. She seems moved, but I'm bordering on apoplectic.

It wasn't until I was in college that I learned to write in books. I finally started because I was a French major, and my grasp of the language was never fully fluent, which meant that I couldn't memorize the layout of my favorite books the way I can in English: even now, I can think of a favorite passage in most any of my books and find it in short order by remembering if it was high or low, left or right on the page, and how the book felt in my hands to determine how deep into the book I need to go to find it again. (This is also why I'm not going to an eReader any time soon.)

My brain doesn't work nearly as well in foreign languages, so I resorted to making some small notes in my favorite novels to help me along. Always in pencil, always slowly and carefully so that my notes and underlining were aesthetically pleasing alongside the typeface.

From his notes, I can tell that DFW loved the analysis of writing, but I also can't shake the feeling that he must not have respected these books very much. If he did, I don't understand how he could treat them that way. I don't even break the spine if I can avoid it; I read most thick books with my fingers placed strategically to protect the binding.

Someone blogged about dog-earing yesterday, and I responded in the comments, but now I can't remember who it was... sorry! But I'm going to ask similar questions: DO YOU DOG-EAR? DO YOU TAKE NOTES IN THE MARGINS? Why, or why not?

Sworn enemies are good for you

Did you all know that, in Greek mythology, Nemesis was a remorseless goddess who meted out divine and vengeful retribution upon those who succumbed to hubris? (Or, as my dear friend Al would say, upon those who "committed hubricide.")

Now, of course, nemesis means one's sworn enemy: "normally someone or something that is the exact opposite of oneself but is also somehow similar." (thank you for that choice phrasing, Wikipedia).

As my blog readers probably know -- and as my Twitter followers definitely know -- I now have a literary nemesis. So why do I like the idea of having a literary nemesis in the first place? Betsy Lerner recently blogged about the bête noire, but the nemesis concept as I see it is not merely about having a single target onto whom we can focus our creative envies. (Although I see the point of that as well. I have a legal bête noire, and that certainly helps me vent those career frustrations once in a while.)

My nemesis concept is about the next generation of writers. Look around, fellow author-bloggers. We're it. Some of us will be the hotshots, some will be the midlists, some will struggle, but we are in it.We're building a community, we're critiquing each other, we're commiserating together... and we're going to challenge each other as well. Sometimes we're going to compete. Sometimes we're going to get the short end of the publishing stick. We're going to have to keep it together through all that if we're taking the vocation seriously.

So, a nemesis is a partner-in-crime. Someone who will push you because his writing is so dang good that it drives you a little crazy (because deep in your writer's heart you secretly believe that he probably didn't have to edit at all, that his stories just sprang from his head fully-formed like Athena) and there it is, you have something specific to strive for, and then you banter a little online and oh joy it turns out you have a similar sense of humor, and if we make each other laugh then that must mean that if I work hard and edit well, then one day he'll be just a little bit jealous of something I wrote (and what a compliment that would be) because we sometimes think the same way and we both kind of get it, and because we're all insecure and crazy in this together anyway, but someday some of us are going to be somebodies and so we should all make friends now because if we get isolated and jealous for real it will just eat us up when we should be having fun and writing, dammit, and if you're not laughing along the way, then it's really not worth doing and yes, you're meant to read this as though it was all one breath.

So bring it. And pick someone who is "somehow similar" who will bring it right back.

No post today.

Lost one of our pet finches last night, one very sick right now. My fault - I should have caught the problem sooner. Good healing vibes for the bird are welcomed, but comments are shut off, as I'd rather not discuss it in detail in public. No retweets, please. Thanks.

ETA: Sadly, she didn't make it through the night: the two who passed were the females, so I think they must have been already weakened from egg-laying. Four male finches are healthy as ever. Thanks for your thoughts. Again, please no retweets, no discussion in comments to other posts.

The Artist's Way Thought of the Day

Recently, I joined Mur Lafferty in a group effort to do The Artist's Way. I'd had the book recommended to me many times, but never got off my butt to really try, so when Mur invited her podcast listeners* to join her in trying to do all the various writing-and-creativity exercises in the book, I figured that would be the boost I needed.

Now, I guess I'm not REALLY trying, because I haven't been doing any of the required morning pages. I am not a morning person. If I'm awake before 8am, it's only because the toddler gave me no choice. And then my job is toddler-wrangling, not writing. You see my problem.

But, I like some of the exercises: thinking hard about the influences in your life who support(ed) you or undermine(d) you, going on an "artist's date" to get a little private time with your creativity... and then I read this:

Time Travel: Describe yourself at eighty. What did you do after fifty that you enjoyed?

Now there's a thought. It's easy to say to oneself that we still have time to accomplish our dreams, that we shouldn't give up just because we aren't already the "hot new thing" (see The Rejectionist's post and comments about these fears), but how often have you given real thought to what that means?

For those of my readers who are closer to fifty than I am, I'm sorry for being all young-whippersnapper about this. At least I'm over 35. Do you realize how many of these industry/writer blogs are written by people born in the 1980s and, dear god, the 1990s? Damn kids. Get off my lawn!!!

So. Let's do it this way. Describe yourself at eighty. What did you do after age fifty, or after the age of your-current-age-plus-15-years, whichever is older? Was it awesome? I bet it was.

PLEASE SHARE A LONG-TERM GOAL WITH US IN THE COMMENTS. I'm inspired by the reminder that I'll still be writing in the 2020s. How about you?

And, yes, I'm still planning on doing those future posts on the last of my Monsters & Mayhem Classes, on why I wanted a nemesis, and some thoughts on failure. Thanks for your patience!

* Are you a listener? Why the heck not? She's so awesome, really. Plus, I do the show notes, and once in a while post a little something on the podcast website: I Should Be Writing. You should be listening. And if you want to do The Artist's Way with us, we're on Facebook.

Where were we, again?

I'm Lost by Maile Lani

Man, it's hard to get blogging again after an absence. Who knew?

So, to recap my various relationships with the powers-that-be in publishing:

• I am engaged to The Rejectionist. (My status as fiancée was made public in January.)


• I am having a torrid affair with Sierra Godfrey. (I forget when that started... she'll confirm it, though. WE HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.)


• I may have convinced Sean Ferrell to be my literary nemesis. (SEAAAAAAAAN!!!) People will write about our literary feuds and keep our backlists from going out of print... it's going to be EPIC.

To recap my querying status:

• Still waitin' on four agents who've got the full. I sent my first query out almost one year ago, on April 15, 2009. Anyone up for a betting pool on when I'll get my answers? Put your guesses in the comments, I'll totally give a prize to whoever comes closest.

To recap my progress on my many New Year's Resolutions:

• Enjoying time with daughter? Check!
• Writing more? Check!
• Eating better? Usually!
• Working out more? Uh...

Okay, my husband's out of town this week, which means the house is a disaster and I haven't showered since he left. I should probably go do something about my hair...

HAVE YOU A LITERARY SPOUSE, BFF, OR NEMESIS? Or are you merely harboring unrequited adorations? I've already admitted to my creative crush on John Irving. You can tell me.

Things I learned while we were apart...

Twitter is crazy addictive.* And awesome. Mur Lafferty said that Twitter is like a giant water cooler, and I'm inclined to agree. Actually, I'm going to say it's a giant coffee shop. Yeah, just me and my pals Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer, hanging out, joking about Vegemite and tambourines... they're just the best couple ever, aren't they? Gosh, I'm so glad we've had these moments together...

I can be such a dumbass. Dear amazing author to whom I may have appeared overly-familiar and/or overly-desperate to make a personal connection: I swear, I'm not normally such a uselessly eager fangirl, it's just that I discovered your writing EXACTLY at the moment that I started taking my own writing much more seriously, and I was so excited by the possibilities represented by your hard work and success... and, yes, I was kind of hoping you'd say, "Hey, I do remember you from that time we briefly crossed paths in the 1990s! How ya been?" (FYI, I've been good, thanks! Got a law degree, got married, had a kid, have high hopes for finding some happy in writing.) Anyway, I hope you eventually swing by the blog or say hi to me on Twitter, but even if you don't, I love your writing. Keep it up, your fans want more.

Grub Street, you rule. How do you find such amazing teachers? And the people who take your classes are such good students as well; none of those time-wasters who are just there for validation or cheap therapy. I'm so impressed, and so glad I took one of the longer classes with you. Thank you. (FYI to my readers: the final Monsters & Mayhem post(s) will be up later this week.)

So, what's new with you? I missed you! Tell me everything.

* I'm CKHBFiction.

Out of my hands

MFA application mailed. Everyone, thank you so much for your support and good wishes. Back tomorrow, for reals.

"That was my idea!"

Read post, then watch video.

Thank you, everyone, for the supportive wishes and good cheer! I hope to be back blogging properly tomorrow, but in the meantime, go read Aprilynne Pike's That Was MY Idea! post. Short summary: it doesn't matter if the idea's been done before, it's all about how you execute it. Okay, now you can watch the video.

ETA: Here's a perfect example. I just saw a Twitter #pubtip from Rachelle Gardener that said: I can't think of a more over-used plot device in kids/YA fiction than the "magical portal." So, just because Lewis Carroll and C.S. Lewis did it, should Neil Gaiman not have bothered to write Coraline? Yes, lots of books include a door to another world. How will YOU write it?

I CALL ON THE POWER OF THE INTERNETS

Okay, guys. Here's the deal. Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have seen me whinging about geometry and having to relearn how to solve quadratic equations. I've also emailed certain loved ones about the suckage of algebraic word problems and things like having to calculate the volume of a right circular cylinder, the slope of a line on the x-y axis, or the standard deviation for a series of data points. I can do lawyer math, but this is something far more terrifying. This is high school math.

So why on earth am I doing this to myself?

I'm applying to get into an MFA program. Specifically, one MFA program. Just the one. It is my soulmate, I feel certain of this. Look, isn't that a pretty room they have? And the letter from the Program Director to prospective applicants made me laugh out loud. (Whether the love is reciprocal remains to be seen.)

Accordingly, today from 12:30-4:30pm EST, I will be taking the GRE (Graduate Record Exam). Yeah, yeah, they probably don't care what the score is, especially not for the quantitative section, but that's not the point. Even if I'm ultimately just there to prove that I can follow directions (take GRE, gather transcripts, put social security number on the right form...), I'd like to do well. It's a matter of principle for me to not totally screw this up.

INTERNET FRIENDS: Wish me a test filled with vocabulary that I know. Wish me essay questions on subjects I actually have an opinion about. Wish me math questions that happen to coincide with whichever formulas I manage to remember tomorrow, and no stupid arithmetic errors.

See you on the other side.