Okay, Universe, I'm clearly late to the game, because every day more people are making their own humiliating offerings to you in exchange for a book deal. But I'm going to try to capture your interest here. Bear with me.
Probably the best (by which I mean worst) suggestion from my readers was Natalie's proposal that I not shave my legs for a year. But I've decided that my husband shouldn't be forced to suffer just because I get published. Still: well-played, Natalie! Remind me to never play truth or dare with you.
The most popular suggestion (in that it got two votes) was to get a tattoo. Apparently my readers did not understand my "no piercings" rule to include multiple stabs with a tattoo needle. (Cough.)
But I think I'm going to offer something related to my own baggage (read this post first for full context)... I love to dance. I am currently out of shape and not in any dance classes. If I get a book deal, I will post a video of myself, dancing. I'm not sure what style of dance to attempt yet... Irish step dancing? The hustle? Or maybe I'll attempt eleven pirouettes (I used to be able to do four) and see how far I get... the comments are once again open for suggestions.
At any rate, Universe, the beauty of this offering is that the FASTER I get a book deal, the more embarrassing and amusing this video will be for you. I'm going to start taking classes again. If you want me to look like a TOTAL dork, you will have to move fast, or else I'll be in shape again and have recovered some of my former skills.
Oh, and if I get an agent THIS YEAR, and a book deal within 6 months of that... I'll get a tattoo.
Come back on Monday to wish me a Happy Birthday!