Friday, December 4, 2009

Deal with the Universe


Okay, Universe, I'm clearly late to the game, because every day more people are making their own humiliating offerings to you in exchange for a book deal. But I'm going to try to capture your interest here. Bear with me.

Probably the best (by which I mean worst) suggestion from my readers was Natalie's proposal that I not shave my legs for a year. But I've decided that my husband shouldn't be forced to suffer just because I get published. Still: well-played, Natalie! Remind me to never play truth or dare with you.

The most popular suggestion (in that it got two votes) was to get a tattoo. Apparently my readers did not understand my "no piercings" rule to include multiple stabs with a tattoo needle. (Cough.)

But I think I'm going to offer something related to my own baggage (read this post first for full context)... I love to dance. I am currently out of shape and not in any dance classes. If I get a book deal, I will post a video of myself, dancing. I'm not sure what style of dance to attempt yet... Irish step dancing? The hustle? Or maybe I'll attempt eleven pirouettes (I used to be able to do four) and see how far I get... the comments are once again open for suggestions.



At any rate, Universe, the beauty of this offering is that the FASTER I get a book deal, the more embarrassing and amusing this video will be for you. I'm going to start taking classes again. If you want me to look like a TOTAL dork, you will have to move fast, or else I'll be in shape again and have recovered some of my former skills.

Oh, and if I get an agent THIS YEAR, and a book deal within 6 months of that... I'll get a tattoo.

Come back on Monday to wish me a Happy Birthday!

15 comments:

  1. That's an AWESOME deal! It makes total sense.
    And tatoos are not so much of a "stabbing" as a "grazing". Or at least that's the way mine felt, like drawing on me with a sharpened pencil, but not too hard to cause pain.

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  2. I'm sure the universe will respond favorably. :0)

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  3. LOL at the idea of making your husband suffer for you getting a publishing deal. I love this. This is so funny!

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  4. LOL. Wow, I thought my deal was bad (thanks for the link, by the way). I think your deal is worse. And then you upped the stakes with a time limit. You are brave, girl. Veeeeeeeeeeeeeery brave. Can't wait to see how it goes for us both!

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  5. Irish dancing would be cool-- I loved Riverdance.

    Or maybe tap-dancing. My mother was a professional tap dancer in the late 40s-early 50s, then she got pregant with me and that put a damper on that career. I love the old Ruby Keeler movies where she does the tap dance routines. I once started to take a tap dance class when I was in my mid 20s but when I came to the first class wearing work boots and being a complete klutz the instructor said I should probably rethink my dancing aspirations.
    Lee

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  6. Tricia, KRUMP??!?! You are evil.

    If I get a "major" deal (translation: ain't gonna happen), then I will krump for you.

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  7. I'm with you! Except, I'm going to dance just because I miss it--book deal be darned. Can I make my deal with the universe be something lovely, like eating Godiva chocolates each week? Oh, that wouldn't work? :)

    Have a great weekend!

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  8. I have three tattoos. LOL I'd get another one without the universe moving on my behalf! So when you get that deal, and I think you are close, I have some lovely designs to send you :) Hee Hee Hee.

    I am looking forward to the dancing. Let us know the good news wont you.

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  9. I love these universe deals! My friend Victoria Schwab said she'd answer questions in a cupcake costume if she got a book deal. And she did! And Kiersten White said she'd dye a purple streak in her hair. And she did! I can't wait to see your dancing video!

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  10. You are absolutely too daring, Carrie!! But I will definitely be rooting for you to get an agent VERY SOON! It just shows that you're on track and that it WILL happen at some point!

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  11. Wow, I'd pick unshaven legs over Internet dance videos ANY DAY (My dancing skills are, um, nonexistent). You are brave my dear. I think the universe has some serious incentive.

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  12. If you end up getting a tattoo, I'll take you to my place...they're great. Maybe I'll even get one with you.

    And I'm throwing my vote to one of the dances from High School Musical 2, which you can learn from the handy dance edition bonus disk. You can choose which..."What Time Is It" or "All For One." :)

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  13. Hahaha love this deal! Hope you get your agent! I love how we both made dancing deals! Awesome!! And Happy Birthday!!!

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